It was Thomas Edison who said,
“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves”
I believe he is right. The thing is that we do not automatically do the things we are capable of because we get blocked and derailed by unhelpful beliefs, old habits, unconscious behaviours and fear amongst other things.
Many of these things are not obvious to us. They are unconscious and automatic, they are behaviours and responses that have accumulated over time as a result of our upbringing, the culture & people that we grew up with and the experiences that have shaped our lives.
And as a result of not being conscious of these behaviours and responses it is so easy to go through life on autopilot, believing that things are just the way they are, that there is no alternative and that leads many to say that they cannot change.
I know from my own experience that is not the case and through bringing awareness to, exploring and consciously making different choices about such behaviours and actions it is possible to change.
Back in 2012, after a series of negative and challenging life events, I was in the depths of depression and contemplating self-harm and harming others.
Not a place I ever thought I’d end up or wanted to be.
I remember vividly saying to my Mom, during that time when she was so worried about me and asked what she could do to help me, that no one could help me. At that time I felt stuck and helpless.
I am happy and relieved to say that was not the case and now I am probably in one of the best ‘places’ that I have been in my whole life. So what changed?
The first step on my journey out of that place was to make a choice. A choice that was to change the course of my life. That choice was to choose me, to state to myself that this was not who I was and this was not a place I wanted to be.
Once I had declared my choice, I took action. I sought help, initially from the medical profession and then from counsellors and coaches. It is worth noting here, that I had also made the decision that I did not want to spend years, if not my whole life, using pharmaceutical means for controlling the situation.
The first step on my journey was to want to change and then to start making the changes.
The first step to transformation is about choice and is a choice. That choice has to be owned and made freely.
In my experience and from the observations I have made, imposing actions, treatments and interventions are rarely successful; it can lead to resistance and threat which results in actions that undermine the intended results.
The thing is, when we feel threatened we tend to go into our animalistic brains (mammalian and reptilian complexes) whose sole purpose in life is to protect us and for the survival of their body and ultimately the race. This is where our unconscious behaviours and automatic responses reside and as unhelpful as they may appear, they have at some time in the past served to protect or ‘save’ us.
When that happens the piece of the brain that we ideally want to be able to use, the human mind, the prefrontal cortex is severely inhibited. The prefrontal cortex is the most powerful supercomputer available to us and we need it to be online if we are going to be able to use it.
This is where my approach may differ from many coaches. I believe that you have access to all of the resources you need, directly or by accessing those of others, to be able to achieve what you want, if only you can create new patterns and responses that enable rather than disable. To do that you need to be free from threat and have the awareness to work on them.
Many coaches focus solely on outcomes, on setting goals and targets and then holding people accountable. That approach can put pressure on to the client which can result in them feeling threatened and stressed. That is not an environment for peak performance and obtaining lasting results, as it does not address the subconscious habits and behaviours that have previously got in the way of people getting the results they wanted for themselves and making lasting change. I speak from experience… I was one of those coaches, I spent the first 5 years of my coaching career using those types of approach.
It is only through my own journey and the application of the skills & approaches that were successful for me and that I have now learned and apply, that I am where I am today.
Are you ready to choose you? Are you ready to make the choice to go deep and create different responses? Are you ready to transform your life and your results?
If your answer is YES, then get in touch
That sound good? Then pick up the phone and call Rob on +(44) 1926 351090 or fill in a short form on the Contact Me page.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you!